So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
