i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His nipple licking is glorious
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