If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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