i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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