return my video game
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
