so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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