Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
