I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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