I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize