hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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