ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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