Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
