I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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