So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize