We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's blow job season.
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I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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