every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
