I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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