is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
