just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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