he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
