Your dad touched me again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
