I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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