Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
