I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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