I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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