i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We got so high we made milksteak
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
