Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
