I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
