I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
then he tried to convert me to islam
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
