Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
