Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
