It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
