who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
