i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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