Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
