Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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