called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize