My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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