i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
