her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
