Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
