You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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