I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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