True but thats because hes a fetus.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
