so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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