one might say we're banned from that church
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.