No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize