I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
