It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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