Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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