i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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