White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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