So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize