so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
