What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
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I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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